CityGirl

Long ago I made the decision that regardless of how tempting the situation is, unless I am absolutely sure that there is no risk of me being wrong in my assessment, I will no longer comment on a person’s appearance.

Several happenings have lead me to this decision. Not only have I been the unfortunate recipient of unnecessary  and unwelcome concern but I’ve been on the brink of having my feet lodged firmly in my mouth.

This incident came to mind. I remember some years ago at a games evening with several friends, there was a woman in attendance, who was the friend of one of my friends. We were introduced and as the evening progressed, everyone got quite chummy. Now those games evening usually go on until the next morning and I thought it was very brave of her to stay all night seeing that she seemed to be so advanced in her pregnancy.

At one point out of sheer inquisitiveness,  I thought of asking when was her due date but decided to find out some more from my friend whose friend she was.

“How far along is she?” I inquired.

“Huh?” Cathy looked a little puzzled.

“Isn’t she afraid to be out so late,” I whispered, “she look like she’s about to deliver soon.”

After staring stupidly at me for a few seconds, Cathy’s  eyes lit up with comprehension, “Omigod Gela, the woman is not pregnant!”

I was so grateful I had not said anything to the lady. That certainly would have been a sticky little situation.

I too have been the recipient of similarly innocent (I’m sure) comments.

There have been times when I look a little jagged around the edges due to work/exam induced stress and sleep-deprivation. So, there would be the unwelcome bags around the eyes, the obvious lack of energy, and other signs of fatigue. During times like those, a comment on how terrible I look just rolls off my back because I know the observation is valid. Also, I known that as soon as the work/exam pressure is off and I get some sleep, my appearance will revert to it’s usually youthful (I would hope) and fresh look.

But just imagine a scenario like this.  A scenario, all too familiar to me.  

You bounced out of bed after a restful slumber, feeling on top of the world.  After carefully chosing your outfit to reflect the buoyancy of your spirits, you emerge from your house feeling like a million dollar.  You strut along with a pep in your step and a song in your heart.

Only to meet up someone who after the preliminary greetings, solicituosly inquire, “Oh are you feeling ok dear? You look a little tired.”

It doesn’t matter how kindly it is said, and how well-meaning you know the inquirer to be, it still completely ruin your day.

I woke up one morning last week with a start.  I didn’t get up immediately, I was still caught up with the dream I had.   I pondered the dream and thought, how strange.

I was dreaming about this eye-candy who works at my office.  Nice looking, good built, great position at work.  I thought about the dream some more and became annoyed.  Now, I wasn’t irritated because I dreamt about him.  Oh no.  I was annoyed because it was such a silly, triffling, innocent dream.  Some crap about him following me to my mother’s house to retrieve a diskette that had some information on it.  A diskette?  Can’t my dream even step up in the technology department.   People are now using flash disks for crying out loud.   How lame!  And what a waste I thought as I indignantly threw the covers aside.

If I was going to have a hottie in my dreams, can he at least be in my bed? Instead of jolting awake, shouldn’t I have been awaken from the intense writhing from a sex-induced dream?  Damn.  Things are really bad if I can’t even get some horizontal mambo jambo going on in my dreams. Sigh.

Actually that’s wasn’t the first time I dreamt about someone I work with.  Some years ago, I dreamt that my boss, who was not appealing to me in the least, who had never acted in any sexually inappropriate manner towards me, made an advance.   That dream can definitely be termed a nightmare.

It went like this.  I don’t remember where we were in the dream - the surroundings in dreams are usually so amorphous anyway.   However, he came up to me and with a lecherous look on his face asked me if I wanted to see something.  Without waiting on my answer he unzipped his pants and let his member loose.   The only thing was that it was green and had a lizard’s head.  Ugh.  I cringed in horror and he let loose one of those maniacal laughs you hear all the time in the movies.  The one that seem to reverberate forever. 

I found it totally weird that I would have a dream like that about my boss.  I have never had an amorous thought about him.  I found it even weirder that the ’sex’ dream turned out to be akin to something from Nightmare on Elm Street.  

I wonder if anyone at work has had any erotic dreams about me. 

I came home just in time to catch the last part of Tyra’s show this evening.  She was discussing my favourite topic.  Men’s views on a whole host of issues involving sex and females.  So she was asking questions like, what they like hearing in bed, how they like the women to act, what type of women turned them on, what are they insecured about (first time with a woman, or in the locker room with other men). 

I love discussions dealing with men’s thoughts.  I think they’re just very interesting creatures.    One of my fave things to do is to hang with my guy friends, listen to them discuss issues about their relationships, their fears, etc.  I love being the platonic female friend because then, since they’re not trying to get into my panties, there’s no need to impress me so they’re more open. 

Of course my interaction with my platonic male friends have coloured my own intimate relationships with men.   The upside is that I see men as people too, and not just someone who pays for things.   I have been told that I treat my men friends like my girlfriends.  And why not?  They’re just as cool.  The downside is that, especially in a situation where I’m not yet comfortable with the person, I’m so very careful about the things I saw, fearing (after listening to my many male friends) that it might be misinterpreted. 

Some years ago, I met this guy while travelling to the States.  We got to talking on the plane and he turned out to be quite cool so we hung out a lot while I was there and he met my family.   When I returned to Jamaica we kept in touch and he called quite frequently. Fast forward a few months and several long, night time conversations later, he invited me to spend christmas with his family in the States.  He also mentioned that he’d be quite happy to buy the ticket.   

I had recently returned from studying overseas and had not started working yet so his offer to buy the ticket definitely earned him a few bonus points.  However, as much as I appreciated the offer I didn’t think it was right for him to pay for the ticket.  Never mind the fact that he was the one inviting me and I wasn’t working.  But I really wanted to go.   My females friends all cursed me out telling me how silly, stupid I was.   I remember one friend saying,  “Listen fool, men love to spend money on women.  All that studying must have fried your damn brains, take the ticket already!” I kept thinking we knew each other for too short a period to let him buy me a ticket to the States (I didn’t tell him all that though).    

Those years as a young girl listening to my mother impressing upon me to not accept money from men seem to have left an indelible mark.   And I chided myself for being such a good student.

I turned to the source of my problem for a solution.  My dear mother after listening to my woes,  not only bought my ticket but provided me with pocket money to buy gifts for my friend and his mother.   According to her, she didn’t want me to be in a position where I’m forced to give away the goodies because I had nothing else to offer (you’ve gotta love her!). 

The surprising thing about the above is this.  After my return, I decided to poll my male friends (I already knew what my girlfriends thought).   I wanted to know if in their opinion I did the right thing.   I was blown away by the result of my informal survey.  They all (young and not so young) thought I was silly to not accept the ticket.  Go figure.

Keep voting for Asafa guys.  That person from Panama is right on his tail and he might not even be included in the three that will be considered.

For people who have voted multiple times and are now ‘blocked’ change your cookies.  This is how you do it.

Tools, Internet Options, Delete Cookies, Delete Temporary files.

Then go vote!

My cellphone so badly needs replacing.  I have finally decided to get myself one.   After spending considerable time on CNET reviewing the different phones, I have narrowed the choices down to three.  I’m having a little difficulty deciding which I should get so I decided to solicit your assistance :) 

Ok, here are the pictures of the phones and you can read about them too.  So which one are you feeling?  Phone#1 Motorola A630,   Phone#2 Sony Ericcson w300i, and  Phone#3 Motorola Razr V3 (in no particular order).

If you own any of them you may tell me what it’s like.   That would also help in my decision.

I will be ordering the chosen phone online so that I can pick it up when I’m in the States next month.

Oh, my friends been saying that I should forget the razr since I’m such a klutz.  My phone drops about 3 times per day (on a good day)

Let us show our support for our local athletes Jamaicans.  Vote for Asafa Powell and Sherone Simpson as male and female athlete of the year.  Vote here

Hey, what do you know?  I’m blogging from WordPress! 

Since I’m such a curious person, I decided to see what the fuss was about.

I like to tell myself otherwise, but if I’m honest (and I feel like being so now) I’ll admit, I’m not all that gungho about changes.  I was therefore a little hesitant about leaving my comfort zone in Blogger.  Never mind that it has let me down too many times. 

I just hope this is not a case of swapping black dog for monkey. So far I like the fact that it’s so much easier to add links to the blogroll.  (Have you all noticed anything different about the blogroll? :)  Yep, no messing around with the complex combination of characters that threatened to drive Kai and myself crazy while trying to add links. 

I still haven’t figured out a thing or two but thanks to CoolDestiny who was such a sport about me harassing the daylight out of her via email, my blog looks almost ready to go.

Now I’m wondering, should I just delete the other blog?   Nah.  I think I’ll proceed how I usually do with new relationships.  I’ll feel it out a bit before putting all my trust in it.

It’s Saturday morning and I feel like relaxing with a little girl-ish post of sorts.

I really should be studying. I did some work for an hour before a pressing headache put a stop to that. Went on the road with neighbor and got ourselves some hominy porridge and watch a silly chick-flick, Set It On Again, I think for a while.

I’m still headachy and without my constant companion, Exedrin Migraine. Studying definitely out of the question. So, I’ve been reading gay porn all morning. It all began when I visited Leon’s blog. He has a link to the BloggyAward site and I checked it out. On that site they have the names of blogs that have received the BloggyAward and I decided to check out some of these blogs to see what made them special. So that’s how I happened to be on Oxymoronic Existence no hold bar (and I do mean that), sometimes WayTooMuch information site. Very interesting. Really. I’ve kinda wondered what men find sexually appealing about other men and he questioned it sometimes. Women being attracted to women I could understand. Afterall we’re pretty and soft and cuddly. But men on men. Ewwwww. I had a lot of ewwww moments reading the blog because of the details involved. It wasn’t a boring read though.

I think I need an Overhaul. I feel quite unkempt. Well, maybe that’s a little harsh but it just means I need some maintenance. I think first off my body has been good to me and I’ve been taking it for granted. I cook quite infrequently (and that’s a gross understatement) but it’s even worse when I’m studying. Junk food galore and I’ve managed to stay a size 4-6. I need to do some sit-ups but I still look flat in my clothes. Actually I’ve been marvelling at the fact that even without clothes, my tummy still look (kind of) flat. I’m blessed.

So, I’ve checked my make-up bag and it’s woefully scanty. I need to restock on lipstick, gloss, eye makeup, foundation. For foundation, I’ve been using Mac’s (love Mac!) studiofix but I think I need some liquid foundation for a bit more coverage. I don’t wear a lot of make up now, foundation, lipstick or gloss, eyeliner and mascara, and eye pencil is all I need for work. Reluctantly, I’ll up the ante and do eyeshadow and maybe blush if I’m going out on the town. And that’s sometimes. I can’t be bothered now. Now, looking back, I’m amazed that I used to go to work looking like a glamour queen every morning back in my 20’s. Eye make-up and all. In those days I got quite a bit of complements on my eye makeup too.

I’ve been thinking about doing a chemical peel too. Well, I’ve been doing the Series of Three Peels that my Dermatologist, Yap offers. The thing with that is, you’re supposed to go for three chemical peels done over three consecutive months. The thing is, after the first peel, I can never seem to make it back for the other two when I’m supposed to. So, I’d do one peel, then another one 4 months later and then somehow never get the third peel done. So I’ve decided to check Fitzhenley (another Derma) for the other chemical peel. Only thing, I now have to decide when to take a week off - they recommend that you don’t go in the sun for a week.

Last month I was on the verge of cutting hair. Again. I had made up my mind and was just waiting on the cutter of choice to return home (he was in the States for a while). I’ve changed my mind again though. I think I’ll keep my hair. Well at least until December. I might want a new look for Birthday/Chrismas/New Years. Plus doing the flip or slicking hair back in one is so convenient for those days when you don’t want to bother. I’ll see.

I’ve always wanted to try out eyebrows threading but until last night didn’t know that anyone in Jamaica did it. I saw where Cindy Wright, our current Miss Jamaica Universe had hers done at Body Accents so I think I’ll be calling them in a few. I’ve seen other persons who have done it and it looks as good as waxing.

Actually now that I’m thinking about it I should make this weekend an all out Pamperfest. It’s a long weekend too. This would be nice for a Jencare facial, eyebrows threading, french mani-pedicure, shave-all-over, topped by a HotShot glamour shot day. Only thing it’s almost one, I should have started already. So I’ll just call about the threading and make an appointment.

Now this is something that I don’t appreciate.

How can anyone look on me, a fashionable, very youthful and hot looking 30-plus and call me ‘MAAM’ ? What’s with that? You go to the bank or wherever and the person dealing with you say something like “How may I help you Maam?” Those wretched store people in the States are famous for that. WTH??

I’m very sure that I still look like a ‘Miss’.

It had taken me a little while to get accustomed to someone calling me Miss. Back in my early 20s when I first heard Miss I was taken aback. Then I got to like it. Afterall it sounded respectable, you know like I’m not in the least giddyheaded.

But MAAM! I will never get use to that!

I demand to be referred to as a Miss! I’ll consider a change to Maam when I’m in my 60s.

I am very, very concerned. I called the Electoral Office yesterday to see if my identification card was ready and just to confirm that my name is on the list. The lady asked me if I got enumerated in March or April. Apparently if I got enumerated in March my name should be on the list that they have now. If I got enumerated in April, then I will be on a list that’s coming out in November.

Now I know that I got enumerated within the March/April period. I’m almost sure (almost) that it was in March. Which means that my name should be on the list that they have now, based on the reasoning that they gave. It wasn’t. I am very nervous. If I remember clearly, I started working at my job in mid-April. I recall popping over to Trinidad for a week before I started worrking. It must have been March. My name should be on this list. I won’t start worrying, I’ll wait and keep my fingers crossed. Believe me, if I can’t vote as Gela, I’ll be voting in somebody’s name. But I’m going to vote.

That’s funny. At this ripe ‘old’ age of 30-middle, this is going to be my first vote and I’m getting my knickers all in a twist about the possibility that it might not happen.