You know I sometimes wish that I could recapture the days of my early 20’s. Somehow life seem to have more meaning. I feel as jaded as a 50 yo. I’ve spent years studying, doing two degrees and I don’t really enjoy what I’m doing anymore. Work now is just a way of paying the bills (and my soon to materialize mortgage). In my 20’s where I worked hard and partied even harder, I spent at least 12 hours (often times more) at work, enjoyed that so much that public holidays didn’t stop me from going in to the office. Was at work at the crack of dawn and didn’t leave until after sundown and still found time to have fun. Then I had thoughts of smashing the glass ceiling. Now it’s like, who cares? Somehow at that age, maybe it has to do with the newness of responsibilities, you enjoy everything about life.
I have to struggle to maintain enough interest in work to get it done and I find that a little worrying. The great thing about this job is that I don’t have employees reporting to me. How does one keep a department of people motivated when you need some motivating yourself. So thank God, I don’t have that anymore.
I feel like I’m in a rut and need superhuman will power to get me out.
3 responses so far ↓
bassChocolate // June 28, 2006 at 8:21 am
I need encouragement, Gela! Why are you making me distressed. I have yet to have that feeling of enjoyment you had when you in your 20s. So is it all downhill from here???
Gela's Words // June 30, 2006 at 11:16 pm
Oh no, Bass, the 20’s are enjoyable, and there is a different kind of enjoyment being in your 30’s albeit a slower type. You don’t need to go clubbing every night/weekend for instance, it’s more enjoyable just lyming with friends at home or checking out some restaurant. What can happen though is that you’re no longer learning your job so you’re not necessarily that excited about it, the novelty of being in charge wears off, etc. But that’s just me. Maybe I’m a bum at heart
fwade // July 29, 2006 at 9:42 am
‘Gela,
I wrote a few entries in my 2 blogs about doing what you love, and whenever I have tried to ignore it, and do the safe or logical thing, it has backfired (sometimes dramatically.)
So… what do you really want to be doing?
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